Our Miracle Day

So, I'm finally getting this post about Joseph's surgery up. What a crazy, blessed day that was! It began early; 3 am to be exact, because I wanted to make sure Joseph's tank was full before he was cut off from fluids at 3:30. After he had eaten and fallen back asleep I went around my domain, exercising control over the things that I could control, which means I cleaned the bathrooms. Although Chad and I were confident in the outcome of the surgery there were many variables outside of my influence, so it felt good to be the boss of something; even if it only was whether or not there was toothpaste in the sink or water spots on the mirror. I went down to the computer room to send out some emails and write a blog post, and while I tapped away at the key board Chad joined me. He couldn't sleep either. We kept our vigil together, quietly moving about the house getting ready to go and giving each other frequent hugs of comfort and encouragement. He was so amazing through the whole experience. Finally, it was time to go. We secured Joseph in his car seat, left our sweetly sleeping children in the care of Chad's good mother, and were on our way to Primary Children's Medical Center.

The registration waiting area was filled with the anxious parents of little children. We checked in at a computer kiosk and took a disk exactly like the ones you get when you are waiting at a restaurant. After about 15 minutes it vibrated and we went to check in, get our wrist tags and name badges that identified us as Joseph's parents, and sign a sheaf of forms. Then we were sent back out to wait some more. I couldn't help but wonder about all the children and why they were there. Some were obvious; there was a cute little boy with lazy eye and a toddler with both legs in bright pink casts, but others, like Joseph, didn't have problems apparent to a casual glance. I contemplated their silent struggles and felt a camaraderie with every suffering parent. When a sorrowing couple came into the room, sat in chairs near us and began sobbing I wanted to fall apart with them. It is a powerful thing to love a child and my view of my Heavenly Father is clearer than it has ever been. He is anxious over each one of us and weeps when we suffer.

Our disk lit up again and we went back to meet with a nurse for Joseph's physical. By this time he was getting pretty hungry, but he sucked on his binkie like a champ and didn't complain. The nurse took his temperature, checked his blood pressure and pulse rate, and recorded his weight, height and head measurement. Joseph was then issued a set of hospital pj's and we were given instructions and a surgery preview. We were told repeatedly that because he was so small he would be kept in the hospital until Saturday. We followed the nurse out into the hallway, got lost (we didn't realize we were supposed to keep following her), and finally made it into the pre-op waiting room where we were joined by faithful Heather. There were only two other families there to begin with, but by the time we were approached by our anesthesiologist, the surgeon, Dr. Cowley, and finally Mary our surgery nurse, the waiting area was full to the brim. Joseph had continued to chomp away on his binkie, hungry but trusting, and when I put him against my shoulder and patted his back, he relaxed against me and fell asleep. I was already so emotional, but my gratitude over this simple blessing almost caused me to dissolve in a puddle of tears. If he had been crying with hunger I think I would have gone crazy. Another baby in the waiting room was wailing and the look on the little mother's face was so frantic. She wanted to help and couldn't; that would have absolutely been more than I could stand. I know that Heavenly Father knows our limitations because that was mine.

Since Joseph was asleep, we didn't have to put him on a gurney. Instead I was able to carry him down to the operating room. The big double doors were open and the sight of all the instruments gave me a light-headed feeling. I just had to clamp down hard on my imagination, turn away from all the gleaming metal and concentrate on Mary's overview of the 3 hour procedure. We were then approached by another nurse who had come to take Joseph. I started to cry and briefly considered a tug of war when she reached for my baby, but gave him up. It was then that Chad and I began to see the fulfillment of the blessings given to Joseph for that sweet little woman took him gently and then held him close; as tenderly as if she were me. He never even stirred from sleep. The promises made came back to my mind as I watched her with him; he would be cared for with great tenderness and love. For Chad and I, that nurse's simple act of love for a previously unknown child eased some of our anxiety. We knew he was in good hands. What wonderful people work at that hospital!!

We were escorted back into the hall where we saw my mom making her way toward us. She had just had her hip replaced a few weeks before yet there she was; my amazing mom come to help. Mary went back into the operating room to have the nurse bring out Joseph so that Grandma could have a kiss. Chad groaned, through tears, that he didn't know if he could handle saying goodbye again (which were my sentiments exactly) so we hung on to each other so that we wouldn't grab Joseph and run screaming down the hall, swiftly kissed his soft head, and watched him leave us again. Now it was time to wait.

Mary had given us yet another pager and directed us to a third floor waiting area which was quiet and relatively unknown. We secured some corner chairs and huddled together; warmed by family support and hot chocolate purchased by Heather. As we sipped and talked Heather shared a thought that had occurred to her from Joseph's blessing the previous evening. He had been promised angels to watch over and bless him and she said, "I'm sure that your dad (pointing to mom) is there." I had to smile thinking that my good and gentle Grandfather Joseph would watch over his namesake. And if grandfathers were angels that day then surely Chad's father was there too. That life, both here and in the hereafter, is all about family is attested to repeatedly by prophets and apostles.

More family support arrived in the form of Andrea, who joined our circle. What a blessing to have her there! I had left something necessary out in the car, so I excused myself to go and get it. I took the stairs down and when I came back in the building I contemplated using the elevator but opted for the stairs again. As I headed up, I met Chad racing down in frantic search of me. It was yet another blessing that we found each other so quickly for the pager had gone off, calling us to the surgery wing. "It's only been an hour!" I exclaimed. Had something gone wrong? Dr. Cowley had told us that muscle build up in the heart could cause complications to the procedure and now we wondered if they needed to do something more drastic than originally planned. We reached the blue tiled and blue painted hallway that led to the operating room and I swear to you that hallway seemed to stretch out in nightmarish proportions. I couldn't believe how long it was taking us to get to the end of it and we were practically running. When we reached the doors we picked up the phone outside as we had been previously instructed and waited. It felt like an hour passed before the doors swung open and Mary approached us. I couldn't tell from her expression if the news was good or bad, but she quickly noted our anxious looks and smiled broadly. "We're all finished!" she declared. We could hardly believe our ears. Hadn't everyone said it would be three hours? She assured us that everything had gone well and that we could sit right down with Dr. Cowley and hear all about it.

Not only did Dr. Cowley give us a surgery blow-by-blow, but he gave us amazing news. The procedure had gone so well, that he was giving his ok for Joseph to be released at 2pm if he came out of the anesthesia without any problems. We could hardly believe it! He also showed us the X-ray recording of the valvuloplasty. We saw Joseph's heart beating furiously to pump blood, but that the flow was obstructed severely at the valve. It looked almost as if a belt had been cinched around the artery. We then saw the cathater put into place and watched the balloon deploy three times. After the valve was opened, we could see the blood whooshing through...it was amazing! The catheter allowed Dr. Cowley to take pressure readings in Joseph's heart both before and after the valvuloplasty. Prior to the procedure, the pressure in Joseph's right ventricle was 94/8. Normal pressure is in the 30's. Immediately after the procedure, his pressure dropped to 55/7. I can hardly believe how hard his heart was working...he was a month old and headed for a heart attack. Dr. Cowley said that his heart had already begun to enlarge; the muscle which was building up in the right ventricle would have eventually blocked the artery completely. We were extremely fortunate that our excellent pediatrician correctly diagnosed his heart murmur as pulmonary valve stenosis and sent us in to Primary Children's right away. Her tremendous instincts saved Joseph from serious complications. We are so blessed!

After finishing our meeting with Dr. Cowley (who we discovered was related to Matthew Cowley the apostle..."And my mother's maiden name was Kimball!" he shared - so awesome) we raced up to share our news with Mom, Heather, and Andrea. Everyone was in elated shock and we all hustled down to post-op so that we would be ready as soon as Joseph was available. When they called our names, Chad and I approached the desk and were told that only one person could go back until Joseph was settled in his ICU recovery room. Chad immediately deferred to me. I know he was just as anxious as I was to see Joseph and have that visual reassurance that he was well, but he let me go without hesitation. I can't express adequately how wonderful my husband is and how much I love him. This entire experience strengthened my appreciation for him as a person and as my spouse. He is amazing!!

Joseph was being wheeled into the ICU on a gurney when I arrived. He looked so very tiny in that big thing! He had what seemed like a million wires trailing from his body, an IV in his hand, and nasty red tape marks from where his ventilator tube had been secured to his little face, but he looked wonderful! It didn't take long to get us set up in his recovery area so Chad was able to quickly join us and we had a weepy-with-gratitude reunion. Mom, Andrea, and Heather were each able to visit individually before they headed off. Andrea actually went to our house, relieved Jeannine, and spoiled our kids rotten. Grant wanted to go home with her!! We stayed until after 4pm, as Joseph had a little difficulty waking up, but we finally walked out the door and into the sunshine, completely bowled over by the events of the day. How grateful we are to our Heavenly Father for his care, for family who fasted and prayed and supported us, and for friends who checked in and who offered help and prayers on our behalf. It truly was a miraculous day!